In each one of us lives a dream of living well, feeling healthy, being financially stable with loving relationships, fulfilling work and so on. So why do we go back? To the unfulfilling relationship, the boring job?  Why do we commit to making things better by being a better person, only to go back to the very thing we promised to avoid?

We encourage you to stop for a moment and notice that one ‘part’ of you really does want to achieve these positive goals, but there is another ‘part’ of you that doesn’t. There is a ‘part’ of you that wants to move forward and there is a ‘part’ of you that numbs out and sabotages your success to move you back into your comfort zone. There is a part of you that feels that you deserve a life of your dreams and conversely, there is a part of you that worries that you’re “not good enough”, “unworthy” so “why bother”.

The struggle to have the life you want does not rely on your external environment, it’s from within. “Going back” is a mere symptom of the inner conflict. It is a coping mechanism to try to turn down the volume of your inner chatter and your inner pain.  It’s the inner struggle between your rational adult self and your irrational wounded inner child (programmed in the subconscious) that gets triggered numbs you out and regresses to negative patterned behavior; destroying your progress.

Is this happening to you? Look at the results in your life; they will reveal your true intentions; your true hidden core beliefs. If you don’t have the health and life you want, somewhere in your subconscious mind you are programmed for that. If you don’t have the financial abundance or loving relationship you want, somewhere in your subconscious mind, you are programmed for that too. Somewhere in there, a ‘part’ of your subconscious mind keeps you safely tucked inside your familiar world of limitation.

When you begin to distinguish these parts, you will have tapped into the missing link; the source, the reason why you “go back”. That ‘part’ of you that is NOT ‘for’ the goal, IS what’s sabotaging your results. That is the ‘part’ that needs to be healed in order for you to achieve your goals. Resolving that ‘part’ of you is now your most important goal.

In every human being, there are core beliefs that sabotage success and produce feelings of fear, worry, or ‘not good enough’. In fact, many of the goals we set are to compensate for not being “good enough”; that’s why even when we attain those goals, we are still not happy with ourselves. There can be a ‘part’ of you that believes you just “won’t make it”, or “you don’t deserve it”, “you’re not worthy”, “not lovable” or “you are all alone”. So life will continue bringing evidence to you. What you believe, you will receive.

Consciously we may know that if we set a goal, there is nothing in our way.  If we write something on our ‘to do’ list, we believe in good conscience that we will do it. The only real obstacles we face are the negative ones programmed within our subconscious mind.  Those unresolved programmed ‘parts’ from our past become our barrier and worst enemy. Our beliefs create our perceptions of life and determine our personal reality.

Normally we want to ignore or numb out our negative self talk. Instead, we encourage you to take notice of it and embrace it. The only way to stop the sabotage is to understand what it is. Get a journal and complete this sentence: I sabotage my life because I believe ….. Now, keep that journal with you and write down any negative self talk – even for a week. Keep it by you when you are on the phone or at work. Keep it by your bed and with you in the car. Write down EVERY mean thing you say to yourself.

Read the full sentence “I sabotage myself because I believe….” And read all of the negative thoughts you have recorded. This will give you a clear picture of why you “go back” and only now can you begin to overcome it. Next, switch these negative conversations into new positive affirmations. Read them and repeat them morning and night. For permanent change, a new progressive form of therapy is now available that rewires those old, dysfunctional programmed beliefs.

If you are ready to have an extraordinary life, then it’s time to heal your inner child and let go of those beliefs that keep you “going back”. For more information, contact us at or

Joanna Andros and Tanya Chernova, Emotional healing therapist and Business Coach, speakers, authors and Co-Founders of Courageous Living and the PNRT™ Progressive Neural Resolution Therapy. Get the support you need to resolve your limiting beliefs and break through barriers to live the life you have always dreamed of.   

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