Researchers claim that shopping can be just as exciting as sex, as stumbling upon a great deal causes a powerful endorphin rush that rivals sexual arousal. Seriously?
A dispassionate shopper, I am reluctant to buy the theory that that a hot deal can leave you overcome with climactic excitement. I adore my sky-high heels and appreciate their role in the bedroom, but I cannot imagine getting that worked up in the mall.
Shopping expert, Tamika Auwai of Shop Socials sees things differently and invited me to attend her sold-out event, TEN, at the Spoke Club to observe the connection between intimacy and shopping in the flesh. This cocktail-friendly experience included some of the hottest designers in Canada and I was immediately taken aback by the number of couples who attended hand-in-hand. Perhaps it was the exclusive venue or the melange of booze and design, but the event was packed and love was in the air.
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Guests were eager to explain the connection between shopping and intimacy and did not seem the least bit unnerved by intruding questions from a sexologist. One happy couple in their thirties explained that shopping for clothing and accessories allows them to custom-design their ideal lover…at least on the outside: “I like dressing him. When I pick out his clothes, he looks even hotter. And that’s obviously good for our sex life.”
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Not surprisingly, the vendors agreed that shopping is the perfect pastime for couples. Designer Sally Han of Psalms 91:1 Accessories explains that trying things on with a lover opens the door to one of the most important components of flirtation: compliments. “I think every woman has a love bank,” explains Han. “And for many of us, we love words of affirmation. Shopping together creates a connection and an opportunity for the guy to offer positive affirmations and compliments to fill up her love bank.”
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Mark Johnson of Kovalum, an Indian-inspired Canadian-made clothing line, reiterates the connection between the emotional component of shopping and intimacy. “From what I understand, women’s desire and arousal is related largely to shared emotional experiences,” says Johnson. “So to the extent that shopping can be a shared emotional experience with your partner, it makes sense that it can be good for your libido.”
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As a sexologist, I agree that spending time together, exchanging compliments and playing dress-up can certainly reignite the sexual spark. However, the stress of spending can also detract from it, so strong communication and pre-set spending limits (or a commitment to window-shopping) are of paramount importance.
I do not believe that you need to spend a ton of money to have a hot sex life, but if shopping is something you already enjoy, go ahead and look for ways to make it a sexy and intimate experience. And be sure to take advantage of those fitting rooms!
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