What women really want is a question that men will always struggle with.
The media and advertisers quickly socialize men to believe that what women really want is presents. Roses, chocolates, diamonds and furs are all cliché tokens of adoration without which a woman’s attention cannot be obtained; or so we’re told.
From a man’s perspective this concept works just fine. Buying gifts is easily understandable and doesn’t necessarily take a lot of effort on his part.
But presents aren’t what women really want.
I was with a friend recently who exclaimed that men with presence are a rarity, if not impossible to find.
“You know Gary” she explained, “the classic type of Cary Grant presence!”
My friend was referring to a man’s ability to project his confidence and masculine persona from across the room. He has poise, obvious class and moves with a manly elegance.
It’s a force that he has. Steve McQueen, Robert Redford and George Clooney all have presence.
For some reason unbeknownst to men, women can pick up on our aura and make immediate And sos on our viability and eligibility without us even making physical contact.
Women are looking for this and apparently, according to my friend, women are in fact longing for it.
After presence, the next important attribute women are looking for is a man’s capacity to be present.
Being present is the ability to sincerely give his undivided attention to her when she needs it.
It includes strong and focused eye contact with affirming body language but does not necessarily include many words. In fact, she may prefer fewer, but more meaningful words.
It’s not presents that are so important to women; it’s presence and being with a man who is present. Ask any woman and she’ll tell you so.
She may also add that the odd present doesn’t hurt either.
