Question: I’ve been dating a guy for a few weeks now and I must say that he’s arranged for some great dates. The other day he mentioned to me he was surprised that I didn’t thank him the day after a date. I always thank him after the date, isn’t that enough?
Answer: This reminds me of a Seinfeld episode where Jerry feels that he’s thanked a friend enough times for the hockey tickets that he was given.
Kramer reminds Jerry that he must provide a day after thank you especially since another set of tickets are available for the upcoming Friday night game. However, Jerry thinks it’s unnecessary and refuses taking a stand against “over-thanking”.
Kramer responds that Jerry must if he expects the upcoming Friday night tickets also reiterating that the day after “thank you” is good manners and that good manners are the “glue of society”.
As it turns out Jerry’s friend was not impressed that the day after thank you wasn’t provided so Jerry ended up with sub-standard seats and a lesson learned.
So, you thanked him after he provided you with a fun and well-thought out evening but you don’t want to thank him the day after?
While it’s a reasonable argument to point out that you already thanked him, I would want you to know that the day after thank you makes us feel extra appreciated and therefore extra motivated to stay on point with our dating efforts with you next time. A simple text or a quick email works just fine.
Look at it another way: could the man in your life argue that he already told you that you’re beautiful a few weeks ago, so he shouldn’t need to say it again to you so soon? Of course not. We all like the reassurance and there are some things that you can never reiterate too much.
Consider that any girl can say thank you at the end of the date, but the girl that throws in the extra day after thank you is more memorable to us.
Just like Jerry Seinfeld jeopardized the next set of hockey tickets, without the extra little thank you, you could be jeopardizing the next date.
Great reply Gary!