Why are we so hard on ourselves?

As I transition into entrepreneurship, I have realized a lot about myself.  I think the biggest problem or thing holding us back, is the fact we focus too much on our weaknesses.  And I mean focusing on thinking they are holding us back or that we can’t get past them.  

It actually is hard to focus on our strengths and work on weaknesses.  We overlook our strengths, I believe and even sometimes think they are weaknesses.

One of my clients who has known me a long time started training again with me.  I always get my clients to fill out a form that gets them thinking a bit.  Non-physical goals, obstacles and things that they love about themselves besides their physical appearance.  This a tough exercises for most.  It takes a lot of thinking and soul-searching.

believe it

She wrote down only one thing she liked about herself and I really wanted her to add a bit more.  After chatting for a bit and trying to get a couple more great things about her down on paper, she mentioned a characteristic about me that she wish she possessed.  

She said she wished she was more of a risk taker like I was.  I never knew she felt that way and definitely never considered that to be a good trait.  I have always taken risks, sometimes they worked out and a lot of time they didn’t.  I considered that to be my weakness something that put me in bad situations sometimes.  

After she told me she admired that quality I really sat back and thought about it.  I am like almost every women out there and way too hard on myself.  Every risk I took I always tried to learn from it.  I now know what not to do and what worked.  This is actually great!  In order to be successful, you need to know what doesn’t work and you can only discover that by taking risks.  

I did a little exercise after this realization.  I wrote down things I considered to be my weaknesses.  Then I briefly described how these weaknesses could actually become one of my strengths or how I can look at them differently to make me better.  

It will be interesting: Make Your Workout Efficient

We are so afraid of weakness we make up excuses for why we do what we do.  “I can’t exercise because I have bad knees.”  – There are so many options here!  Work with someone who will help strengthen your knees first and get you moving in ways that won’t compromise your knees.   “I would rather eat a ton of food and be happy” – Are you really happy though? Most of the time I just hear people complain about how terrible they feel and complain constantly about illness.  Really look deep here.  

Life is all about change and growth.  If we constantly avoid what is stopping us we never move.  Focus on what will make you move!  Fear is our biggest enemy.  If you are afraid to start a healthy lifestyle because of failing you aren’t digging deep enough.   What I mean is you are setting goals you don’t think you can accomplish.  Goal setting is key to overcoming fear!   

In order to accomplish a goal, you must first believe you can do it.  If you need to lose a total of 50lbs and you say that is your goal right out the gate, it sounds overwhelming and well just plain scary!  Make your first goal to lose 10lbs.  Then from there set another goal.  By breaking down your goals into small achievable ones, you will eventually hit that long term goal.  

I never thought I could start my own business.  For many reasons.  I am very unorganized for one and I know a business needs to be organized.  But being unorganized should and didn’t stop me from getting started.  Instead, I looked into systems and procedures that make me more organized.  My goal to start my own business is set up just like losing body fat and getting in shape!  

I know I can’t reach my long term goal overnight it will take time.  So I work on one goal at a time to reach my ultimate goal.  I started by learning more about starting a business.  I then did the necessary steps to register my business and figure out my brand.  There are a lot more steps after this but a year and a half later, I am now adjusting my goals slightly to reach that ultimate one! This will happen.  So never get discouraged if you find you need to change your plan and or small goals.  It may be necessary to do this.

Embrace the changes you need to go through for success.  There will be obstacles and there will be things you need to do that were different from your original plan.  There is always more than one way to your destination.  

Take a moment and write down a dream goal of yours.  No matter how big and unrealistic it seems.  Now write down 5 reasons why you want this dream goal.   Then write down 5 obstacles that would prevent you from reaching it.  Once you have done this stop and really think of 5 amazing traits you possess.  

believe it

Now write down 5 reasons why you want this dream goal.   

Then write down 5 obstacles that would prevent you from reaching it.  

Once you have done this stop and really think of 5 amazing traits you possess.  

We know you can’t reach that dream goal without action steps.  Using the above information to help you, write down 5 action steps to help you reach your main goal. Your amazing traits are key to the action steps! Use these traits!

Voila! These action steps are now goals!  Give a realistic timeline for all of these.   Knock one down at a time!  Another huge mistake is trying to tackle all the action steps at once.  Do one then another.  Keep a journal so you can keep track of your obstacles, how you overcame them and even more important if you didn’t and why.  

It may seem tedious but it is necessary in order to be successful.  But at the time, believe in it and you will achieve it!   If you want to discuss goal setting and work on a plan for a healthier more fit lifestyle, email me hello@carmenshawn.com .  I would love to hear from you!

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