Question: What should I do when she is moody?
Answer: Men and women both get “moody”. In fact there are studies that show men have “their time of the month too” which I’ll get into in a future Blog. Men have asked me recently how to effectively handle a woman’s bad mood.
My advice is aimed at helping you understand and effectively be there for women who are occasionally moody. A guy needs to remember not to unintentionally reward her for being in a bad mood. If you tip-toe around her, cow-tow to her every demand and are super, extra, extra nice, you risk getting caught in the cross-fire and BECOMING the problem. I’m not encouraging you to avoid being kind and understanding, just don’t go over the top. Authors, Louis & Copeland suggest these excellent keys for handling a woman’s bad mood:
1) Acknowledge it: “Had a bad day?”, “Not feeling so good today?”, “Having a rough time?”
2) Show a little compassion for her mood. The key here is to never try to solve her problem. Just listen to her and show a little compassion. You might say: “Sounds rough. I know how bad a bad mood can be.” “Wow, I’m sorry you are having a hard time”
3) Stay upbeat. This is critical. You must go on with your life, little affected by her bad mood. You shouldn’t do this in a sarcastic or overly enthusiastic manner: just make it clear her mood is not going to change yours.
4) Step aside as soon as possible. If she’s really down, she’ll either want to sort it out with your help or sort it out alone. If she wants your help, DON’T immediately offer solutions, just ask her clarifying questions so she can get clear on what she’s upset about. Examples are: “Sounds pretty intense. Tell me more if you want to.” or “Is there anything that I can say or do that would help?”
By following these specific steps closely, you will greatly minimize any frustration felt by either of you.
Would you like your question answered by Christine? Email her directly at: christine@yourdatecoach.com
Live Love,
Christine
