Often in meetings with our new matchmaking clients, we hear them speak about what a great catch they are, and how they want to meet someone who has as much confidence as they do. We believe it! We can see with our own eyes that they are sitting tall, and their powerful words are ones that they truly believe.
When I ask them if they have ever approached someone for their number, they instantly clam up. Immediately their shoulders slump in, their confidence has been pushed to the floor, and they can’t put a sentence together. This reaction from a clearly successful and confident single is from the sheer thought of vulnerability.
I feel like people struggle with the thought of putting their MBA and CEO persona aside for just one minute, and to just expose who they truly are to a complete stranger. That, my friend, can be a scary thought!
It’s important to go through this process in your head before approaching a stranger. You need to be able to decipher through two important pieces of you – your work character, and who you truly are outside of work.
Often, the challenge is accepting that who we are during our downtime, is our true self.
The introvert who enjoys curling up in bed with a good book, the person who makes time to see their parents every weekend, and enjoys the quiet part of life, maybe even jumping into bed before 10pm.
It’s hard to imagine that all the conferences you attend as an active participant, and occasional rejection from prospective clients you encounter, does not prepare you for walking up to a complete stranger to ask for their number… but it doesn’t.
As a matchmaker, I become an important figure in many of our client’s lives. They put trust in our service to help them find a compatible partner. They divulge many deep secrets, knowing that they are in good hands and can confide in us.
The openness that people are capable of sharing is truly amazing.
When you have decided that you can approach a stranger, then it is important to show this person your true self.
Revealing your vulnerability, your compassion, and your clever wit, are imperative steps on your path.
Once you are willing to take a chance, connections will be made, and excitement will grow. You’ve moved past your professional accomplishments, and are willing to accept the imperfections that make you likeable, quirky, loveable, and just plain you. These are the things that become appealing to somebody else because they are honest, they are real, and they are truly you!
