You’ve just met a guy, he’s handsome, charming and there was instant chemistry. Everything seemed so easy, from the minute you met he made you laugh, bought you a drink, got your number and asked you out right away. Yet you aren’t sure, sometimes he’s texting making you feel like he’s super into you and other times you don’t hear from him for days. It’s kind of confusing, you like him, and when you see him he makes you feel really good, but when you don’t there’s this unsure feeling pulling at you.
So, is he a Player or is he Boyfriend Material?
The Approach
The Player will come on strong, usually impeccably dressed, he is aggressive and has no hesitation approaching you. He is quick to get you a drink, get your number, flatter and tease you and charm your friends in the process. He exudes confidence and will have no problem checking out and chatting with multiple women. A lot of women are attracted to this type of guy, but proceed with caution, this is the guy that will charm you because he’s had a lot of practice.
Boyfriend Material is often the guy that can be a little awkward and not used to being out and talking to women. He is the guy that you most likely have to signal, he doesn’t know how to approach you because he’s used to being in a relationship. He may be nervous and surprised that you are even interested in talking to him.
Dating Style
The Player will habitually call you at the last minute and apply as sense of urgency to try to pin you down as soon as possible. He wants to see you see you immediately and it has to be tonight. If he’s made a previous date, he will sometimes end up cancelling because he’s accidently double booked you. If he never makes a weekend date and consistently asks you out for a specific day of the week, let’s say a Thursday, he is most likely dating multiple women and you are becoming his “Thursday” girl.
Boyfriend Material will be interested in seeing you but there won’t be an unrealistic sense of urgency to the dates. He will want to make a plan that works for both of you, and there will be a natural progression to spending more time together and that includes weekend dates.
Secrets & Lies
The Player goes from hot to cold, one day shining his light on you, texting and charming you to disappearing for days at a time. He is secretive with his emails and phone, even if leaving a room for only a few minutes. He doesn’t introduce you to his friends or family. You may have been dating for months, but when you run into an acquaintance he introduces you as his “friend”.
Relationship oriented men are interested in sharing their life with you and have consistent communication. After months of dating he will call you his girlfriend and introduce you to his friends and family. Boyfriend material is an open book. He is ok with sharing passwords or leaving his phone alone in a room with you.
Keep in mind lots of us tend to be very attracted to the bad boy. I know I’ve been guilty of this in the past, and why wouldn’t we? When this guy shines his light on you it feels great. He is charming, smooth, funny, well dressed and always knows what to say. He is fearless. But remember this guy has a very limited shelf life, and that light will burn out. No matter what you tell yourself he is rarely the settling down type. And in most cases will only lead you to heartbreak, wondering what happened and where it went wrong.
Boyfriend Material isn’t always the brightest light in the room, maybe even a bit awkward at first, but he is the guy that will actually shine the longest. He adores you and is really into you. He will stick around, care about making you happy, will want to spend time with you and create a life together.
What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear from you, share your story in the comments section below.
Are you ready to meet your guy?
